In the "Foxfield weekend" story, he claims he was mid-coitus when a pepper spray can that was in the girl's purse discharged. Funny, but definitely fiction. Pepper spray cans have a spring-loaded guard that you must lift and slide your finger under (at which point it takes several pounds of downward pressure to spray it). At the very least, they have a safety lock you must slide over and then down (similar to what you'd find on a "child-proof" lighter). To suggest it could go off accidentaly from someone lying down on a purse is laughable.
From Here's A November 2006 Real-Life Tucker Max Story:
I actually have had the grave misfortune of dealing with TM and know first hand about his last story where he supposedly 'fucked a midget'. I assure you, this did NOT happen. I know this b/c it was MY place of residence, in MY room, I lived in a loft with NO ceilings, and yet there was not a single peep. Of the 8 people that were there (he conveniently left me out of the story b/c I talked shit back to him, and wouldn't let him fuck me) standing NEXT DOOR to the bedroom with NO ceilings in the kitchen drinking beer, not a one heard a fuckin' sound. We even propped up chairs to peep over - he was on one side, the little person on the other, not even touching. Listen, I know my bed. It woke me up when I had to rollover in the night, and it sure as hell made noise with constant giration, a la fornication. The fact that he claims to have 'hit her cervix' would have surely let out a yelp, or some indicative that something was actually happening.
After about 10-15 min. he walks out and announces, "Anyone who's ever fucked a midget, raise your hand!" I went to see where this midget had gone, to find her completely passed out, with clothing still on. So unless he raped her, he didn't fuck her. And yet he touts it as some badge of honor.
It's one thing to be intolerant of people's bullshit and call them out on it, it's a complete other thing when you come into MY house and treat me like shit when I've been a pretty respectable host. One borders on hilarity, the other on narcissism. The only reason he stayed the entire weekend was b/c he was buddies with my roomie. I subsequently stayed away that weekend, and told him to "fuck off and die" when he left.
I know I shouldn't be wasting any more time with this worthless cretin, but it's nice to know that at least, I'm not alone.
By Anonymous, at 12/26/2006 11:38 PM
519 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 519 of 519"I have grown up," he said. "You just change as an artist."
He calls himself an "artist" now?
What a shithead.
What's next, is he going to convert to Islam and change his name a la Cat Stevens? What a clown.
Kabbalah
God damn the Bunny is HOT!
and unhinged.
"He would create fake e-mail accounts and then bombard entertainment sites and news aggregators with links to his material."
I think its safe to say this explains almost every amazon.com review. What a joke.
He would create fake e-mail accounts and then bombard entertainment sites and news aggregators with links to his material.
Makes you wonder how many people on his message board are sock puppets. Makes you wonder how many of his "true stories" are bullshit.
fucking kills me that he admitted that. somebody oughta add it to wikipedia.
No one comment until Cockly creates a new post. It's been 6 weeks now.
ok.
im game. no more posts until cockly puts a new POST!! cockly don't abandon us!
He may be a fucking loser, or short, or stupid, or whatever you can come up with, but you are still here, talking about him, thinking about him. So that means that right now he has the power. Until you forget, he wins.
no new posts until cockly posts a new post.
hahahah every other comment in here is about tucker's penis.
this blog should be called "The Official Tucker Max Penis Fan Boy Club"!
CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!!
He may be a fucking loser, or short, or stupid, or whatever you can come up with, but you are still here, talking about him, thinking about him. So that means that right now he has the power. Until you forget, he wins.
you think about him all day
obsess over him
obsess over him
until you forget
he wins
he wins
Were those last few messages from Tucker? Cockly McBeefcurtains doesn't seem to care about you anymore. It's a shame because this blog appears to get a lot of traffic.
i think the silent treatment is working!!!
funny how she posted it as annonymous...it's like she's lying or something...
How do you know Cockly McBeefwell didn't get hit by a car or something?
SHHHH!!! guys!! come on, i thought we all agreed to give him the silent treatment until he makes another post about tucker max!!
http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=2004597759475440942&blogName=Ban+Tucker+Max+%26+Viacom%3A+Freedom+Haters&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&navbarType=BLUE&layoutType=LAYOUTS&homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fbantuckermaxandviacom.blogspot.com%2F&searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fbantuckermaxandviacom.blogspot.com%2Fsearch
430 comments, the vast majority of whom come from anonymous posters... Very courageous. There's an extraordinary parity between the supposed "cock-sucking" of TM's followers and the party line of the anti-TM people who think that playing childish pranks during a radio show is the same as calling someone on their lie like even Oprah had the ability to do. Wow, you cut off his microphone! Genius. Pure courage. I don't know if anything TM says is true or not, I'm sure he like all people have made poor predictions and like a lot of even very honest people can continue to argue something that isn't true after the fact (i.e. the Coulter v. Maddox thing), but this hate towards him is really immature. There's war in the Middle East, global warming and liars whose lies cover up murder and tyranny and y'all are going after someone who lies about drunken escapades? Amazing.
Wow you people really are retarded. You create an entire website to attempt to prove that Tucker Max is a Douchebag. This is the guy who's infamous for stories that involve a man who womanizes and drinks excessively. If you're going to attempt to bash somebodies reputation, then why don't you attempt to talk about somebody with a positive reputation, or maybe you could get a life.
Hey, folks, the newer thread broke at 5K, but we still have this one!
Or Light's place, tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com. Hooray for Light!
This whole conversation is rather silly. Tucker is a rather hedonistic, silly, selfish guy; it seems that the "heat seeking missile theory" is in play here for lots of friends and enemies that share similarities... Not all, but many!
Buthsecks
For the first time today, I read some excerpts from this disgrace of a novel, and literally was near tears. The Rapist Culture needs to stop. Objectifying woman should NEVER be considered a form of humor, and I am tremendously disgusted with a large, and sick majority of society right now. I have no words to express how I feel about such a vile and despicable text, and I hope women and men alike out in the world will be bold enough to have a voice against such traumatic entities as this. I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but the fact that society can view this book (which I hate to even call it that, because I so ardently revere books) as humor can only suggest how dehumanized a lot of mankind has really become. It is so sad. Hopeless.
Look, since you keep showing up in 'random' happenings into tuckers life as you post all these stories, it's incredibly obvious that you are also bullshitting! fighting BS with more retarded BS to bitch about some guy you probably met once in your life is the stupidest possible thing you could do.
you just wish you could fuck a midget. your such a douchebag
I have a question. I'm not saying the information you post about Tucker Max is true or untrue. I have no way of knowing and don't really care. But my question is, why would you devote an entire site to hate on someone else? Isn't that a waste of time and energy?
I have a question. I'm not saying the information you post about Tucker Max is true or untrue. I have no way of knowing and don't really care. But my question is, why would you devote an entire site to hate on someone else? Isn't that a waste of time and energy?
"why would you devote an entire site to hate on someone else?"
Read through the superthread, there was some actual honest serious discussion of this matter somewhere in the first thousand posts or so.
One good reason is because it costs hardly any energy or effort, and is a lot of fun, and the guy deserves it.
This needs to be the new superthread
Only a few more weeks before the new book drops and Tucker is back on top.
"the new book drops"
into the toilet, with a splash
HAHAHAHAHA POOP JOKE HAHAHA
Nice to see all you shit-wadders and fuckballs are still at it. I hope this thing never ends because it has brought so much joy to my lonely heart. I was afraid once the movie bombed all the fun was stopped, but it didn't - we kept on posting. And then when the other thread reached it's post limit I thought that's be the end of that. But no - wait what was this - the thread below - we could still post all our witty thingys there! I can't tell you all fuckballs how good it feels to be here and contributing to this shit-fest of a blog. All I'm really trying to say is Nils is fat.
I like how the other thread has reached the post limit ahahahahahahaha and then people started posting on the next thread. Hysterical.
Check out the AFF on Amazon. I see one discussion post...
So what if there's only 1 discussin thread on amazon for the new book? That's how Tucker does marketing - just like for the movie: the less the better. He's changing the whole game. Do not email me about this people!
Freak Safari is cooler than Idiot Board.
Ukrainian girls are hot.
Tucker is fat.
AMIDOINITRITE
@8/23 11:23
NO
@8/24 6:34
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
OC/DC is gonna rock!
¡¡¿¡HYJINX!?!!
Check out this photo that's up on Tucker's site - so interesting.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4118/4872576810_94d2e380dc.jpg
A fucking dog eating something. Sooo awesome.
I haven't been here in awhile - I can't believe that we (and the spammers) hit the comment limit. I didn't even realize that there was a limit to the number of comments on blogger.
I wonder what Tugger is going to do after Assholes Finish First flops. Will he eventually get a real job like the rest of us?
" I didn't even realize that there was a limit to the number of comments on blogger."
I think they imposed it specifically because of us. Yay us! Yay Tucker! We made Blogger history!
KTAT
bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeEEEAAAAASTessesssssssss
big
soft
round
bouncy
jiggling
BBBBRRRRRREASTS
Thank fuck, I thought it was imdb or nothing for the Tibor hate. But just flick one thread down, and here we all are!
Except, seemingly, Chinese Spam Guy. Come one CSG, we need you!
We need to get this over 1000 comments by Christmas.
And Bunny is fat.
The shitty thing is Tucker never writes anything anymore so we have nothing to write about. Come on douche-bag throw us a bone!
Not EVEN the cooletht one of hith friendth.
Of which he has none anymore. So, actually, that's a pretty neat trick.
NICE TRY, MCBEEFSMOKER!
Niiiiice tryyyyyyy.
McBeefSmoooooker!
MAC
BEEF
SMOKA!!!
HRH J.B. 'C.' M.-N. MacBifSmoakr; Esq., Ph.D, MCS, Sc.B., etc, etc, etc
It's time to sing the Happy Happy Tucker Song.
Fistbeard the Beardfist son of Beard of Fist of Beard
What does Kenny say to Barbie with two black eyes?
Nothing! Goonswarm already done told them twice!
HA HA HA HA HA
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”
- HP Lovecraft
heyyy rancer piwaty peepulz
HALP HALP IM' BIENG PEEVPE'D
Boys and girls: How do you know if Terry is or is not your friend?
Very simple.
Terry says to you: Let's do lunch!
You say: Ok, when would you like?
Terry says: This Friday, at such-and-such a place! I'll meet you there at noon sharp!
You say: Ok then.
On Friday, you go to the place. At noon sharp, you see a car drive into the parking lot with Terry in the passenger's seat and some other guy at the wheel. You see Terry get out of the car, and, never looking once toward the restaurant, walk to another car in the lot, get in, and drive off. You sit there for a little while watching the question marks orbiting your head and knowing you really are the Biggest Loser.
As I said: you still owe me lunch.
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
NICE TRY MACBIFFSMOKA.
Hark! Dost perceive the cries of the Internet Retard as it communicates across the ether? Truly, a strange beast: stupid, and yet dim-witted.
OW MAH BALLS
I say we put up about fifty combat cars, and open fire as soon as the mob crosses the line.
MATUL REMRIT ENDURES
McBeefSoftener?
The Chicago Tribune lists "13 Awful Movies of the Last Decade" and "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" is on the list.
They wrote "Director Bob Gosse never figures out which tone he's going for, let alone why. The result just might be the most hypocritical feature in the history of film as well as the history of hypocrisy, and along with serving beer, I hope they show "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" in hell."
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/movies/chi-090924-worst-movies-pictures,0,5273212.photogallery
Someone at IMDB claims that Tugger's movie is now in the $5 bin at Wal-Mart:
"Upon it's DVD release, I secretly laughed at the 14 copies that each of my 2 local Wal-Marts had and the 12 at Target (I live just outside of Houston and retail discount stores are everywhere out here) were carrying for months and I happened to notice that with the price drop from 19 to 15 to 13 to 9 that no units were moving.
Now at 5 dollars per title for 5 weeks they have moved 2...Target is still sitting strong at the same 12 units (I actually flipped the second to last copy at each store for fun months ago) at 15.99 for the same time. Which as a side note helps prove that Wal-Mart/Target employees don't care about their jobs.
It's just something I decided to do for the people who spent a few hours of the last year helping to destroy what little reputation was left for this movie.
To those of you guys who helped me see what a douche I was supporting by being on his boards...I hope this helps make you smile in some capacity.
Before the nut-huggers get on me, yes I have nothing else better to do than this as it took 15 seconds of my life on an average of twice per month and I hate your almighty enough that I am offsetting my own karma by doing things to help those who help others by railing against his ignorance.
I'm disgusted that he is in my state, let alone country."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/nest/170217292
Keep thinking about Tucker
It not so worky smurf
What's up with Bunny anyway? Is she squeezing out Tuckertots yet?
Thanks Harry.
Thanks! HAIRY!
^
That "Terry still owes me lunch" post was fucking superb: I'd rather buy a book by whoever wrote that than Tibor's latest collection of failblog anecdotes.
you ronery? me ruv you rong time. two dolla!
So what's the verdict on Tugger's shitty new book? The preview on Amazon makes it appear like nothing more than another vanity piece. It's hard to believe that anyone would actually pay $14.29 for this piece of crap.
Notice the 5-star reviews already up on amazon. I wonder how many of those were written by Tugger.
Yeah, I hate Tugger just as much as all of you but I want to read everything he writes too!
God dammit, the book is actually funny. Well, at least the first few stories I've read have been
So, boys and girls, who is talking about Tucker Max, and where are they talking about him?
http://deadspin.com/5653266/duke-fuck-list-author-gets-potential-book-movie-deals
COMMENT NUMBER SEVEN, ladies and gents!
"In all seriousness though, didn't Tucker Max actually go to Duke as well?
Maybe Duke's English department should start thinking about offering a new kind of major..."
Sounds like a plan!
Hahahahahahahaha, yeah, Duke is sure turning out a high grade of student these days.
Tugger looks a bit haggard in this photo from earlier in the year: http://www.clydefitchreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/tucker_max.jpg
He looks like he is in his late 30s in that photo.
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try mcbeefsmoker.
Sigh...it's over. What we had all wished for has happened. Tucker is a washed-up irrelevant twat. Think I'll go read the other thread for old times sakes. Nils is still fat...I guess...who cares any more...sigh.
The party continues at tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com, if you want to read ASS, I mean AFF
I just noticed that this entry's title is Tucker Max's Lies.
And the other blog is Tucker Max Lies.
And Tucker Max ... lies.
And ...
... I'm out.
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2010/11/wisdom-of-tucker-max.html
Having read that Tucker blog entry, there is (as usual) a lot of complete crap, but his point #3 is well made.
I hear that fellow Mr. Parker is somewhat rotund.
Corpulent, even.
I knew nothing of this Tucker Max character until the other day when i came across "A-holes finish 1st" in the bookstore. I read a few pages. It was funny (like fart jokes are funny). I mentioned the book to my nephew who is in college and he informed me that this guy is quite a phenomenon. I had no idea. But I was intrigued and so I poked around and came across this site.
All I'll say is this: When the literary equivalent of a bathroom reader becomes a best selling novel, what does this say about the state of our culture today? I think it says people are getting more and more stupid and dumbed down, and that there is a large generation of childish, purile, man-boys coming up that don't have a f'ing clue. To them, this idiot is the ideal image of what a real man should be, what they should all aspire to be. Pathetic. His psychology is transparent. He is a scared little boy who hides behind drunken access and being a misogynistic bully. He even admits he is the same little a-hole today that he was when he was a child. No shit! That's what happens when you never grow up! He says he's ready to put it all behind him and start a family. And THAT, is the saddest and funniest part of it all.
you are a very smart person!
I need to hear exactly what Sydney will do about that?!?
Jewell
You guys are fucking losers. Honestly, you're sooo jealous of Tucker Max that you make an entire blog about him? If anything I'm sure he's flattered. Get a life, and stop living through trying to tear his down.
I recently read mucker tax's 'book' titled I hope they serve beer in hell. I had no previous knowledge of him before this unfortunate event, and I can only thank my lucky stars that I checked it out from a public library and that not a cent of mine went to this loser.
While the stories are mildly entertaining, they lose all appeal once you discover that they could not possibly be true.
The author turned out to be a flabby loser who stuttered when confronted, used the word 'like' quite frequently in his speech, and did not display any signs of the quick 'wit' he claims to have.
(Not that I found ANYTHING he said witty. In fact, I was worried I was missing something, because my initial search turned up nothing negative against this flabster. --Thank god I found this blog and discovered that he edited the hell out of the internet like big brother.)
Anyway, I'm here to say that I think the only true story in that 'book' of his is the one where he left shit streaks on some girl's couch. I can believe that.
Now THAT seems more like tucker...
That nasty smelly arrogant fucker
Oh look I'm a poet
I like Tucker Max. It doesn't make me feel warm when I find a site/blog like this one, but you have rights just like Tucker. Tucker's actions can be vile/disrespectful at times. I, honestly, don't think he wrote the books to recieve attention for "getting pussy"; I think he wrote the books for entertainment. The books are collections of situations he's put himself in; they don't define him to a truest degree. I think I can compare this with the pepper spray story. No offense, but how is a person supposed to know if the stories you post are true? I'm not trying to turn this into an unpleasant post, unless I have already. I'm making a point. Ok, so "I don't know for sure" what parts of it is true. I have more belief in your arguement, but what I think is important is: Things in life aren't concrete. The statement can be applied to people and to objects. It may not be likely the pepper spray "went off" but....it's not impossible...? Tucker Max can be a an asshole, but it's not the person he his every second of his life. Things in life aren't concrete. I will turn this unpleasant now. AT LEAST HE HAS THE FUCKING GUTS TO USE HIS NAME......AHEM.
I think it is funny that some of the Tugger's idiot fans are still complaining about this blog, even though it hasn't been updated for nearly 4 years! Tugger is yesterday's fad. I wonder when he will start writing stories about he experiences with his psychiatrist.
HI MY NAME IS BIFF ARE YOU LIKE SOME EXPLANATIONS NOW? OK!!!!!
The whole anonymity thing started back when Tucker had his message board going and a lot of the people here were regulars there - it wasn't possible to openly question him on his board (he and his mods would ban for tough-but-reasonable questions) so the discussion simply shifted here, anonymously so that the people doing it wouldn't get punished with banning on TMMB.
You could ask why they cared about being banned. It's hard to give up a spot you've put time into, even after you realize it ain't all that. And a lot of them liked at least some of the other posters, even if they didn't respect Tucker anymore.
(I had an account, but I think I posted exactly once, something utterly innocuous)
So the habit stuck.
Anyway real names don't matter, because it can't be proven. I can call myself J. Billingsworth Frosby III and that doesn't make it true, or have any relevance to what I say.
Aside from that, all the objections you bring up have been brought up multiple times before, and dealt with. Tucker did lie about a _lot_ of stuff (where's the police report from the donut shop, Tucker? where's the "broken" tape from the video camera, Tucker? what was the name of the hockey team whose mascot you assaulted, Tucker? how come no hotel chain in the country knows anything about your shitting up their lobby, Tucker?) and in general the wackier his stories are the less truthful they are.
Although nobody really cares anymore.
Hey, check out True Grit! Pushing 25 mil at the box office. Hey Tucker, don't you wish you were a great filmmaker with that sort of success?
oh, also, I HAD NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX until i saw his kickass awesome so funny movie which EVEN THOUGH I HAD NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX i really really liked and i laughed and laughed because it kept hitting me and hitting me and it gave me a bloody nose from hitting me in the face when i had NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX so i am not giving this favorable review because i already knew about tucker max or because i am tucker max but just because I HAD NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX and i want to say he made a really good movie and you should go see it and pay tucker max lots of money for making dogcrap or whatever it is the director WHO HAD NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX but is the greatest director in the world and will make the movie awesome anyway the director did what he could but tucker was very very scared because he didn't know anything about movie making and it showed NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX and that director was terrible he did everything wrong it's all his fault not tucker's oh no certainly not tucker's NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX and that's why you should trust my opinion and go pay big money to see tucker's movie which will be a huge hit and make tucker fuck-you rich money so that nobody will have NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX
oh yeah also waaall saaar ah'm a good ole suthern boy cuz ah'm in da mi-li-ta-ree an' ah NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX and am certainly not a figment of his imagination
...
ahhhh, old jokes, always best jokes
Tucker Max says he is ready to settle down and start a family? Jesus...
Tucker Max should never breed. Like, ever: I can't even imagine all the ways he could fuck up any spawn of his own.
and of course you are a fucking liar. such a bullshit story.
UKRAINIAN GIRLS! BEST GIRLS! YES!
not so sure about this..
Charlie Sheen wishes he was Tucker Max.
To the MAXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!
HI MY NAME IS BIFF
WHERE R U ALL MY TUKER MAX FRENDZ
MISS U
BYE
- BIFF!!!
Atlas is the top-grossing limited release, it made 1.7 million on the opening weekend in just under 300 theaters. This is very solid for an indie film. It will be expanding to 1000 theaters soon; if the new theaters get the same audience numbers as the first 300, it should be close to covering its 10 million budget pretty soon, just from the theatrical release. DVD sales then become profit.
This is _certainly_ not anywhere close to Tucker's results.
TDG, your ideology is blinding you to reasonably obvious facts. This does you no credit.
Well, Illuminati???
I have had that EXACT same thing happen to me. It was the Tornado Defense System. It is possible to apply enough preassure on it if and make it go off. I have had other canisters leak in pockets and had them leak in purses. And once, I even managed to accidently duplicate the story with my wife, minus the public location. he described the sensation PERFECTLY!
Oh who the fuck cares. The stories are funny as fuck, they keep me entertained. And whether he fucked a midget or not is really not the point, just the telling of the story. And who the fuck cares if he's got an ego? Hello stranger, meet half the population of the world.
Who the fuck cares if he made up half of the stories? They were funny as shit and I was entertained. And he has an ego? Who fucking cares! Hello stranger, meet half the population of the world! He's not the only one with an ego. But he's funny as shit and That's really all that matters.
not all pepper spray is as you descibed it. you can still buy pepper spray with NO SAFETY, making it easy to accidently discharge it. i have such a can of pepper spray in my car, all i have to do is apply a little bit of pressure to spray it. i dont have to slide my finger under a damn thing.
Army guys? Eh no point in arguing... I'm sure your parents,wife or kid will die of cancer lol.
ROFL, don't forget the retards, those are the best I wish I had one as a pet.
I still hate Tucker Tibor Max.
And Nils is fat.
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