Saturday, March 24, 2007

Story About Tucker From

The story below was copied from a account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.

Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand

Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!

Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.

In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Tucker Max's Lies

From an review of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell:
In the "Foxfield weekend" story, he claims he was mid-coitus when a pepper spray can that was in the girl's purse discharged. Funny, but definitely fiction. Pepper spray cans have a spring-loaded guard that you must lift and slide your finger under (at which point it takes several pounds of downward pressure to spray it). At the very least, they have a safety lock you must slide over and then down (similar to what you'd find on a "child-proof" lighter). To suggest it could go off accidentaly from someone lying down on a purse is laughable.

From Here's A November 2006 Real-Life Tucker Max Story:
I actually have had the grave misfortune of dealing with TM and know first hand about his last story where he supposedly 'fucked a midget'. I assure you, this did NOT happen. I know this b/c it was MY place of residence, in MY room, I lived in a loft with NO ceilings, and yet there was not a single peep. Of the 8 people that were there (he conveniently left me out of the story b/c I talked shit back to him, and wouldn't let him fuck me) standing NEXT DOOR to the bedroom with NO ceilings in the kitchen drinking beer, not a one heard a fuckin' sound. We even propped up chairs to peep over - he was on one side, the little person on the other, not even touching. Listen, I know my bed. It woke me up when I had to rollover in the night, and it sure as hell made noise with constant giration, a la fornication. The fact that he claims to have 'hit her cervix' would have surely let out a yelp, or some indicative that something was actually happening.

After about 10-15 min. he walks out and announces, "Anyone who's ever fucked a midget, raise your hand!" I went to see where this midget had gone, to find her completely passed out, with clothing still on. So unless he raped her, he didn't fuck her. And yet he touts it as some badge of honor.

It's one thing to be intolerant of people's bullshit and call them out on it, it's a complete other thing when you come into MY house and treat me like shit when I've been a pretty respectable host. One borders on hilarity, the other on narcissism. The only reason he stayed the entire weekend was b/c he was buddies with my roomie. I subsequently stayed away that weekend, and told him to "fuck off and die" when he left.

I know I shouldn't be wasting any more time with this worthless cretin, but it's nice to know that at least, I'm not alone.

By Anonymous, at 12/26/2006 11:38 PM